just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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