look no pants
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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