Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
