could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
