"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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