Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Green mimosas i think yes
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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