Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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