Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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