i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
