Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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