stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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