She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
