Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
