I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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