He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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