Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
