shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
