look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
