I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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