You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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