marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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