Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
