I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
