I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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