is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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