im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And then my night got REAL pukey
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
did i just pee glitter
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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