She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
