i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
