dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
