I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just want to make out with him forever
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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