While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
