it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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