I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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