You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
