My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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