ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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