Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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