If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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