alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize