I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
