quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
