but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
