but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
