I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
