I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
