Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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