It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I am one with the molecules
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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