i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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