I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
