is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
