We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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